READ MY LIPS.

I was beginning to think that i was on the road to getting over you.

Thought i had stopped, i was wondering if the feelings were dying off already.
Yet today i woke up soaking my pillow with tears again, without any reason. Is this some kind of trick God is playing on me? Why is it that each time i think i'm getting better, He has to take me back to square one time and time again? When will this ever stop? How long is this gonna go on for? Just let me stop thinking of him coming back or let him come back, could you? please.

It's hurting so much to think of him anymore. It's exhausting. I hate the sudden i-miss-nigel-so-much feelings. i hate to exchange a few bad days with him for a fhappy one.

The ache feels so strong again, my eyes are hurting again. And again i cant stop thinking of you forgetting me. It's such a torture to miss someone who doesnt even have you in his mind anymore.

He obviously is living as happily as ever, with a gf, a job, everything seems to be looking fine. He doesnt have me in his life anymore. So why cant i stop doing this, why cant i stop thinking of him, maybe also get a bf, learn to carry on living life like he is too?
He is so happy now, so why am i drowning myself in such pitiful sorrow.
I wish i could find enough reasons to hate him so much that i'll stop thinking of him.
i really wish i could.