much as it hurts;

I realise how easily affected i am by the ex boyfriend. How, new year seems so dull this year much as my cousin are a real fun bunch. How it doesn't matter whether i win or lose at blackjack this year because my heart/mind is nowhere near where i'm at.

I've been feeling better. I guess what i really want is for you to be happy, dear. so smile for me!

Last night i learnt that it's still his words that carry the most weight, and still him whom i care so much for. Even if he's not sharing laughs with me, i suppose i could just stay by the side and watch him enjoy his life happily.

A friend said something very sweet. "At least for awhile it was C&A". That made me smile. At least we've ever had something special between us, and those memories are only for us to keep. That, no one can ever take away from me. Heh.

I was in the toilet bathing this morning when i thought of this friend of mine. I remember us starting the friendship when C and i had some problems some time back. How he was saying "we all help you. we'll tell him we're not free then we'll go play, then he can meet you!" Really cracked me up. From then on, our friendship got stronger and pretty soon he became someone who listened silently when i cried, and made sure i was fine. He's never failed to make me laugh each time i call him when i'm in tears. i don't know about him, but he's really become a (secret keeping) buddy of mine over the months. I don't think he reads this blog anymore; he's hooked to movies6 and youtube. heh. Thanks bro. I really appreciate the listening ear.

EDIT:
pictures to lighten the mood:

The prettiest cards to end the year of the pig. Chu yi with the family.
This candid shot makes me smile everytime i look at it.
Sarah, DJ, me
Megan (:
Weiyi. we were on a winning streak last night lor, with us 'rotating' our cards. hehee
2nd generation girls.
have i said i love my cousins?
Today felt so much more like Chu yi.


i don't care what they say, i'm in love with you.
-----
hui: yup, at least i've got something beautiful to think back on. thanks (:

trist: Mm. maybe we shouldn't go back to that topic, now that it's over. i can say though, that we're still friends and i believe we'll still have happy times together like this.

sam: you silent readers make me smile to know that people ever do read this and think of us as 'sweet'. there's something special in this guy, but you are right too. heh.

xy: :D i'm experienced.. hahaha

joyce: Thank you! see you soon pls.

Mike: ya 1 year older, 1 yr wiser. heh