READ MY LIPS.

It's once again back to those days when i cant sleep for more than 5-6 hours.
So sleepy, but my mind has started its daily torture and i cant't sleep no more.
Went to bed at 4 last night and i got up at 930. I wish i could sleep more but my mind wouldn't allow me to.

Yesterday the Ho's and Sim's came over in the afternoon and evening respectively. Studied a little with Sarah, couldnt concentrate as usual. We tried our luck at blackjack and both of us won a little money so yay.

Talked to my mum about not gg for the piano exam, cos i'm quite confident of failing, but she still wants me to give it a shot. It's useless la, but she wouldn't listen anymore.
I thought you'd be around to talk to me, then i realised you were probably not drinking w him, but somewhere else.
Does this show that you've got me out of your head already, that you dont care no longer? I'm not gonna believe it, though it might be true.

How i wish that, when God made man, he didnt make the feeling 'hurt' last so long. When you get upset, it takes so long to recover from it. So how come when you smile, the happiness can fade so quickly? It's unfair.

Everyday, i think of the day when you'll come back to me, all the time i imagine myself in your arms. Then i realise that it's not gonna happen again, and feel stupid for thinking of such stuff.

I wish i could be strong like some girls who can live their lives without a guy, who say they do not have to depend on guys to be happy, who firmly believe that guys aren't everything.
I could never be like that, cos you've made me fall weak for you, so weak that i'll go to you anytime you call, even if it were to be for 5 minutes. So weak that just a call from you is enough to get me thinking, thinking that at least you still will tell me about your problems, that you still do think of me. I tell myself to be contented, but it's hard to control the thoughts, they always drift off to think of the other person around.

Always i find myself thinking, why'd she come into the picture, why'd she have to know you, fall for you. Why couldnt she, seeing that you were attached, know how to stand aside and go know someone else who is single and very much available? I know you'd say that she's got nothing to do with our breakup, that if not for her we wouldn't stay together too. Is that true? Cos i so believe that if not for that, we might have another chance to make things work again.

I dont understand how guys can move on so quickly. Why cant guys be as sensitive and emotional as girls? I wish i could know how you're really feeling, if it was easy to tell me you'd gotten another gf, if it's easy to adapt to life without me and start again with another girl, and repeat the whole r/s cycle once again. Why cant we just stick to the norm?

It's not supposed to hurt so badly.

Replies:
Weiyang: thanks :)
Stella: Hey sweetheart, seldom hear from you already. how are you? Thanks, good luck to you too.
cAm: Hey thanks alot sweetie, know i can count on you.
Mikie: Haha thanks big bro, i'm trying. trying very hard but failing to do so.


Marina Sq was very crowded that day because of the fireworks display. We had a hard time looking for somewhere to eat remember? In the end we found this cosy little restaurant at a corner. After that we went to the esplanade, which was friggin crowded and some malays got into a fight. It was lovely watching the fireworks with you holding on to me. I'd give anything to live that day another time.

Good luck to everyone taking their paper(s) tmr, have a great sunday.