READ MY LIPS.

Lilly Allen's Littlest Things; Seems to completely tell of how i'm feeling:

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your missus
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.
The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
The first time that you introduced me to your friends
And you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
When I was feeling down, you made that face you do
No one in the world who could replace you

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I read somewhere that "Man want to be a woman's first love, while a woman wants to be a man's last romance."
How true aye.

Got up feeling pretty upset this morning, i dont know why again.
There's just this feeling inside that telling me i'm gonna start crying again one of these days.

Today, the thought you made my heart skip a beat. There's been this ache inside since i got up. Suddenly I miss you very badly. Again.
I wish we could be like those lovey-dovey couples flooding orchard road once again. Wish so badly that you'll tell me that you miss me, that you love me again.
I so miss you boy. I miss you being here for me when i feel down or troubled.
I know i'm supposed to be better already, but suddenly i'm feeling low all over again.
Really wish we could just pretend to be together again, even if just for a day. I know if i were to be granted that wish, i'll ask for more and this would never stop. But sometimes, i really wish so badly that i could do that.
I wont deny that, much as i know you wont be coming out next week, a micro part of me is still holding hopes of seeing you. I hate myself for being so stupid. ARGH.

Piano exam's next friday. Dont have the mood to practice nor to turn up for the exam. Haven't been putting in much effort cos i really dont feel like. I'd drill myself to play Kiss Goodbye for the darling but exam pieces, no thank you.
Only cause i didn't want to disappoint mummy did i agree to try out this friday. But i'm pretty confident of failing. Till now the pieces still cant be played smoothly, how to get it done by Friday? That's not inclusive of Scales and Aural some more.

I feel so angry doing something that i really dont feel like doing. I feel angry for wanting to please everyone till i upset myself. I wish i could just be harsh and tell people No, i dont wanna do this or that.
Where's Nigel, i want nigel here to comfort me and say he'll acc me through the week till my exam.
Yingting offered to come to my place anytime she's free next wk to accompany me while i practice. Thanks alot girl, really appreciate it, though i know deep down you made the offer cos there's Nickelodean. haha. Hugs. It was nice just hanging out at ECP with you yesterday, girlfriend :D